We refuse to honor the 2024 election even though Dolon Mump is now sitting in the White House. We call on people to march on the Capitol, put our feet up on Mike Johnson’s desk, threaten to hang the vice president, assault police officers, break windows, pepper spray anyone within two feet of us, carry a spear and wear a horned fur hat.

We claim that there can be no votes found for Mr. Mump in any state, election precinct or a single ballot box.

We further claim that everything Mr. Mump is doing is illegal, unconstitutional and stupid. We don’t want our personal data turned over to 20-year-old DOGGIES. We don’t want half the federal workers laid off to find a few pennies when there are millions of dollars in oil and gas subsidies, in Mr. Mump’s contracts with the United States and in the rooms rented for Mr. Mump’s Secret Service agents at his hotels.

We further insist that Mr. Mump retire to a golf course full time and turn the leadership of our country over to someone not out to destroy it. Mr. Mump, call an election. You damaged the Constitution so many times, what’s one more.